Yesterday I went out. I Stopped by Magical Stitches, a budding quilt shop south of Macon. She has several new lines of fabric. I really need to get things together here and get my sewing machine set up. There are so many things I need to do. My sewing room had been in the bonus room before the ill fated move to Florida. When the guys were unloading the truck to move us back into our home, I had them put the sewing machine table and Ironing board in the dining room. I hadn't finished packing my sewing room, so now I have my entire sewing room piled in the dining room. The bonus room, or as some people call it the FROG - Finished Room Over Garage, is now without carpet. The plan had just been to put new carpet up there to sell the house. Before we were moving, the plan had ben to put hardwood up there. So I am back to plan A, with one modification. Over the last 6 years, since we moved into this house, Glenn and I had talked about putting a bathroom in up there. So I will talk to a contractor about that before I put the floors down. I am trying to do things the way Glenn and I would have if he were still here with me.

While I was out yesterday, I stopped at an antique mall in Byron GA. I wondered around looking at things, but I didn't see anything I really wanted. There were some of those baby bonnets that are made out of handkerchiefs, with the poem about using it on the babies wedding day. I have a ton of handkerchiefs I bought to use in a quilt. While I was looking at them a lady walked up to lookat them. She was admireing them and we were talking about how easy they would be to make. She said he husband had recently passed away. I told her that mine had also passed away, and I asked her when she had lost her husband. She said September 8th. Two days before I lost my Glenn. She and her husband had been married 52 years. Glenn and I had been married 16 years. We talked about how we were dealing with things. It was nice to talk to a stranger who is really going through the same things I am... in real time. I have been approached by several people who had lost their spouse, but they are all a few years out and every one of them are in new relationships. I don't know why that makes a difference to me, but somehow it does. Maybe it is because my biggest problem is the lonliness I feel, not having my best friend to talk to about everyday things. The thought of being able to be in a new relationship is something my brain can not grasp, so how can these people know what I am feeling? I know it is just where I am right now, and that they grieved their losses, but I guess I can not imagine I will ever be there emotionally. This lady and I talked about things like Thank you notes, she has done hers and I haven't, and getting rid of clothes. Again she has and I haven't. I really need to get on things...

Ok ~ Time to get something done... I think I will clean the kitchen, then head upstairs. I am taking down the popcorn ceiling while I try to get ahold of a contractor friend of Glenns to talk to about putting the bathroom in up there.

Recover and Rebuild

My life changed completely on September 10, 2011. My Glenn got home from Afghanistan on July 18. He had lost a lot of weight, twenty pounds, in six months. He looked tired. "Everyone looses weight there. I will put it back on" He seemed OK. He was having a lot of indigestion, saw the flight surgeon, got prevasid.

 We started getting ready to move to Patrick AFB for his assignment to be the Opps Group Commander there. His job was starting the end of September, but since school started the 10th of August, our 15 year old son, Ross, and I moved down on the 8th of August. The week before we left, Ross had injured his foot on a ATV, so he was on crutches starting at a new high school. He knew no one. We just kept saying it would be much better when Glenn got there.

I rented a small house with a small fenced yard, across the street from the Ocean. I could walk to the beach in 2 minutes. Glenn came down a couple weekends and we went up a couple weekends. Labor day weekend Ross and I came up and finished packing what we needed to go to Florida. the rest was going into storage until we sold the house in Georgia and bought one in Florida. On Monday Ross and I drove the truck loaded with 3 dogs, 3 cats and a bird down to Satellite Beach.

Glenn Drove down on Thursday the 8th with a U haul full of appliances and furniture, fabric and my Gammill. We unloaded the truck, and set up the washer and dryer, freezer, connected TVs. Glenn went to work on Friday, preparing to take command later that month. On Friday night we went to a retirement party for one of Glenn's friends. Saturday Glenn went to work the his reserve weekend, but he came home after lunch saying he wasn't feeling well. I wanted to go to urgent care, but he said that he had just gone to the doctor. He couldn't lay down, because of the indigestion, So he and Ross put my Gammill together.

We were supposed to go to a function that evening so I started a load of laundry to wash his shorts and the washer connection was leaking. I went in the house and told him. He went out to the garage. I was getting my clothes ready to go that night when I wondered where Glenn was. I looked out back, then I went to the Garage. I saw his feet, like he was laying down on the floor. The young man that lived next door was walking up his driveway with his surf board. I yelled to him that I needed help. then I opened the door to the house and told my son to call 911. The young man, Seth, and I started CPR. The first one there was a motorcycle cop. Then the Ambulance got there. They worked on him for what seemed like forever, but my concept of time isn't good. they took him to the hospital.

When Ross and I got there they took us to a room separate from the waiting room. I knew it wasn't going to be good news. We waited. I called his friend who's party we had been at the night before. He and his wife got there after they told Ross and I that Glenn hadn't made it. They took us back to see him. It is really still unreal to me. The group of people at Patrick AFB were wonderful to me. There were probably 15 of them at the hospital that night to help me deal with it. A Chaplain, the General, the person in the wing who was assigned to me to walk me through all of the paperwork and she set up the funeral. I called my oldest Daughter first, then his Dad, that was the hardest phone call. Then my sister and one of his friends from the AF Academy. I told him he would have to make the rest of the calls. My daughter and sister got to Florida on Sunday. The Patrick people were great, by Friday they moved us back to Georgia. His dad got here on Saturday, my mom and second daughter got here on Sunday and the funeral was on Monday the 19th.

My sewing room is not set up, my two Kaleidoscope quilts are not finished. My Gamill is in the garage waiting for the room to be ready for it. I really do not know when any of this is going to get done.

I keep waiting for this to be real for me, but I am having a hard time convincing my heart. My life was centered around him. Everything we did was because of what he did. He was a wonderful husband, a great dad. He was a Colonel in the Air Force. He flew rescue helicopters, saved lives in Afghanistan. He was my Hero and my biggest fan. He loved showing my quilts to people. He was as proud of me as I was of him. I know he is in a "better place", but he would rather be here with me.

So little time...

I am trying to be better organized. I am following the flylady but I have been out of bed for two hours and still not showered with shoes... maybe tomorrow. The positive is that my sink is shining, and has been for days! Baby steps and maybe I will find some time to make it upstairs...
I haven't written anything lately because I have not been upstairs to piece anything. I have three customer's quilts to do, one is on the long arm. The second one I have for the same customer is a small wall hanging for St. Patrick's day. I ordered a new Pantograph and I hope it will be here today. The third quilt is a large one.

I have been busy since I last posted. I purged my closet. I was brutal. I haven't done my dresser yet, but I have 2 medium size cartons of clothes packed so far and I am pretty sure I will have three full when I am done. The closet looks so good!. When I was growing up my Dad was in the Air Force and at that time we moved every year. I hated unpacking, so I always wanted the fewest boxes of my stuff. I guess that is still in the back of my mind now thinking we might be moving this summer. I will now have three fewer boxes to unpack!
The back yard is slowly getting done. If we have to sell this house this summer I need to get the backyard looking like it did when I saw this house, and bought the backyard. I really looks like a park when it is cleaned up. A smaller lot for the next house. I am not a gardener.
I also did a talk about quilting to a group of ladies about quilting. This was very hard. All but one of these ladies don't quilt and I don't think they were too interested in how quilting is done. They did enjoy the trunk show, at least they said they did, but I don't think they got the artistic side of quilting... they kept asking how long it took me to make the different quilts. That is not something I keep track of. Oh well, that just proves that quilters are a different breed of people. It was amusing to me. Poor unfortunate souls...

Dog days...

This quilt is going to be done someday! I worked on it until late last night, and I will be back to work on it as soon as I eat some lunch.

This morning was the first of three trips to the vet. Maddie, my pretty girl, was first for her yearly shots and check up. Maddie is a sweetheart I adopted about 14 months ago. People always tell be how pretty she is, then ask what kind of dog she is. I should get her DNA done and find out. When I adopted her the Bio described her as a 2 year old Cocker Spaniel mix. I was thinking about getting her and I mentioned it on Facebook. My best friend since high school, who lives several states away, went on Pet finders and picked out the same dog I was looking at. That made my mind up! I went to get her, about an hour drive north of here, and when I got there I was expecting a 30 pound Cocker mix. She is a 50 pound girl. At her first vet visit her Doctor said she is more like 7 or 8 years old. We have 2 Golden Retrievers, so she is a small dog compared to them. My husband was really not in favor of getting a new dog, but he left it up to me. When we had her for about a month, he said he was glad I rescued her. She really likes men and greets him at the door whenever he comes home. I think he likes the attention. She fit right in with the boys, and is good with the cats. She was very interested in the bird in the cage at first, but now she pays no attention to him unless he is singing, then she just listens.
I take the boys in tomorrow morning and afternoon. I decided to take it easy and do them one at a time, since Glenn is not here to meet me there and hold a leash.
Lunch time and then some piecing time before the kid gets home and we go to the orthodontist... and I wonder why it takes me so long to get anything done... maybe a retreat is in order when Glenn gets home in July.

I haven't finished the Kaleidoscope quilt top yet... the center is done but the left over stratas were just sitting there, and I needed borders. I have been doing a sort of crazy quilt type thing with the left overs. There is one quilt in the book, by Ricky Tims, that has what looks like a crazy border on it but when you look at it closer you see all four border are the same. I love the one in the book but I had already started random piecing when I looked at the picture again. I will be working on it after dinner tonight, so maybe some pictures tomorrow.
The organizing of my time is coming along a little better. I have found if I make a list of what needs done it helps. My list has gotten longer the last few day because my husband may be transferred in his job. It is something we won't know for sure until he gets home from his deployment in Afghanistan mid July. Since we have a son in high school I may be moving before my husband so Ross can start School. I really hate having to move Ross right now, but that is the military life.
In the mean time I need to get this house ready to sell. This will really cut into my quilting time. We have an acre lot that is partially wooded. The woman who had this house before us was a fantastic gardener. She put brick walkways around and through the woods. She planted azaleas along the paths. It is a lot of the reason I liked this house when we bought it. When it is all cleaned up it looks like a park. Right now, not do much. I have not spent the time on it that it takes to keep it up. I now know I am not a gardener. I spent all day on it yesterday. I think if I just spend a couple hours a day on it I can get it under control at some point.
I guess dinner isn't going to make itself. Then back to the quilt.

Self doubt?

One of the many things I have learned since I started quilting is that there will always be a point in putting a quilt together that I will look at it and think I have made a horrible mistake.
Not to brag on myself but I have a really good eye for color. I think it is like some people having perfect pitch, some people just see color. I can look at something and know if it will match something else I have at home. It is almost like the colors hurt my eyes if they aren't right. This is both good and bad. The good part is obvious, but the bad is that I have a very hard time doing scrappy. I love scrappy, and I know once all of the colors are in the quilt they will all match. The problem comes when I an assembling the individual blocks and the colors within the blocks do not match until the other blocks join them. I know this time will come and I just have to push ahead, tell myself that I am being too picky and stick to the plan. Last night I worked on the Kaleidoscope. This is the Ricky Tims pattern, or I guess it is more of a technique. It isn't new, I just missed it when it first came out. It is not the Kaleidoscope block. It is using stratas to cut mirror image sets. One big image. So last night I told myself that I was being silly and I did not need to re-do any of the stratas. I pushed myself to get to the assembling point so I could get an idea if the finished product. I told myself it is just a top, no one else would know what it could have been it I had chosen colors better... Guess what? It is so pretty! I will finish the assembling today and see if I can figure out how to post a picture.

Side tracked...

I am trying to get myself on a schedule, but I am so easily distracted! I have found if I have a check list, a real written down check list, I do much better.

While I was off track yesterday I spent some time up in the sewing room and I worked on a new project. I know I should be working on an old project, maybe finishing something, but this Kaleidoscope by Ricky Tims really has me interested. I need a wedding present for a friends daughter, who's wedding was last November, and I wanted to test this technique. Finding a pattern that will work in a somewhat modern/Asian home has been a little challenging. I think this might work.

The test one is made of purple scraps. I am not sure where the purple one will end up but I will be needing some baby quilt replacements soon, some medium kid quilts. I always think of the time Dana came to me with her very worn out baby quilt and ask me to make her a new one "4 inches bigger". She had grown out of that one. I live the things kids say.

I better go make a list for the day. we will see how that works for keeping me on track...

New plan...

Will I ever make it up to the sewing room? I have decided I need to make more time to create. I keep giving myself too many projects. While Glenn is gone, I thought somehow I would have more time, but the opposite is true. Single parenting of a 15 year old is a full time job. Then, of course, there are three dogs and 4 cats in this house. Just trying to keep the hair under control can be a full time job... Then there is my business... When all I really want to do is SEW!
Maybe I can put myself on a schedule. Since I always feel like I should be doing more I stay up too late at night, then I sleep too late. I am not a morning person, never have been but when I worked outside the home I could get up and go to work, do what needed done even if I was not feeling it until 10am. So that is my plan - I will get up and sweep dog hair, feed the livestock and what ever else needs done that day. Then Maybe I will have some time to sew...

A Quilter's scattered thoughts

So I have created a Blog... Funny because I was really just trying to comment on a fellow quilter's blog. I have always been amazed that people can write things that interest others enough for them to spend precious time reading them. I really don't know if I have anything interesting to say. Some people blog to complain. I do not want to do that. The subjects I talk best about are my children, and my quilts. My children are really young adults, well mostly. Dana is my oldest, 24, and she is very much an oldest child, much more grounded than her scattered mother. Kelly is 23 and she is a free spirit, an artist looking for her passion. Then there is my Baby Boy, Ross. He is 15, born when the girls were 8 and 9. He is my husband Glenn's only natural child, even though the girls call Glenn Dad and he treats them the same as if they were. Ross was born to a family of people to adore him, his sisters were his greatest fans. I kind of feel sorry for the woman he marries. He is turning out to be a really great young man. He has goals and manners. All of my children are above average... I guess I am their greatest fan.

I have been Quilting since the girls were very young. It is my passion. Quilters are a different kind of people, but I suppose that can be said of any group that involves like minded people. We have our own rules and language. We hoard fabric. We save scraps. We like old things, especially old quilts. We like new things, especially new quilts. We live for dealines! We are usually a few years behind on quilts. Baby quilts by the second birthday are not un common. We will drive out of our way to go to a quilt shop.

I really do not know if I will ever write another blog... like I said I was only trying to comment on fellow quilter, Bonnie Hunter's blog. Now she can write a blog...

Kristy